Friday, June 14, 2013

The Last Day of "School"...

I was wide awake this morning at 5:00…just lying in bed filled with anxiety anticipating this last day of work before my surgery next Monday. It feels like the last day of the school year. I'm saying bye to all of my friends/work buddies, giving hugs to all of my teachers/bosses, cleaning out my locker/office...and I have all of the same melancholy feelings that I did back in the day when it really was the last day of school.


Instead of being excited about the fun summer ahead, I'm dreading the next couple of weeks...especially this coming Sunday and Monday.

Sunday is Father's Day. We usually eat really good food and drink lots of yummy beverages on Father's Day. This year won't consist of any of that though as my doc has prescribed a clear liquid diet on Sunday in preparation for the surgery Monday morning. Ugh! A whole day of not eating? I can't even imagine what that is going to be like. Especially while watching everyone else feast and enjoy the day as they normally would. I've thought about just hibernating all day so that I don't have to witness any of the fun that will be had...or be tempted to partake, but I think that might be even more miserable.

I'm pretty much dreading the surgery and will definitely need some anti-anxiety meds to help me get through the day on Sunday and to sleep that night. Have I told you how much I hate needles and giving blood? Yes...I have...in just about every post that has had to do with this whole ordeal. I despise them. They make me want to puke...or pass out. So, you can only imagine how fabulous I felt this past Tuesday when my oncologist walked me through all of the gory details of the surgery. I honestly don't think she left out one thing that will take place in the 5-6 hour surgery she will do on my body. She told me how she will have to dissect certain tubes and such from tissue...puke, puke, puke...as well as cauterize and use heat on other things...puke, puke, puke. I just want it all to be over.

So Monday is pretty much a wash. The surgery is set for 7:00 in the morning and by the time I'm out and done with recovery and in my room, it will most likely be 5:00 in the evening. I'm sure after being under anesthesia for that long, I'll be exhausted and want nothing other than to eat finally and then sleep the rest of the day away. I'm looking forward to waking up on Tuesday and hopefully my pain will be managed and I won't have a huge cut in my lower abdomen - we're praying that there aren't any complications and my doc is able to do the surgery less invasively with the "robot", which would leave me instead with just a few small incisions above my belly button. Fingers crossed for that. If that is the case, I should be going home on Wednesday. If she has to do a full open surgery, then I will be there probably until Thursday or Friday.

I'll be sure to update after the surgery...especially since I'll have nothing but time on my side. Six whole weeks of time. I'm not much of a TV fan...and one can only read so many books and trashy magazines. I'm so excited that my mom will be by my side the first couple of days to keep me company. My bestie from Michigan, Alena, is coming in for a couple of days too. What a blessing that will be as she always knows exactly what I need...and what to do to make me smile. And then my aunts and uncles will be here in early July to help take my mind off things and hopefully have some fun! So the recovery time isn’t going to be all that lame as I’ll have lots of people around me throughout.

The love and support of everyone has been overwhelming. Please continue to pray for healing...for a complication free surgery...for a quick recovery free of infection or any other craziness that could happen. Pray also for my sweet family...that they may have the strength and courage to get through the next couple of weeks of my bitching and complaining. And most importantly, pray that this hysterectomy is the last and final treatment necessary to cure my body of this cancer. XOXOXO
I hate this place!  Hopefully I don't have to go much longer...
Oh...also wanted to share...my sister-in-law, Laura, shared this amazing song with me last weekend.  It's called "Next to Me" and it's by Emeli Sande.  I love, love, love it!  Totally inspiring and brings me so much comfort...and so fun to sing and dance to while driving.  :)  Click here to watch the music video...  Happy listening/watching.

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you, your family, and your team of doctors. God loves you so much more than we can ever imagine, he's going to be with you every step of the way. Love you!!!

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